Today's quote of Wisdom:

Be the change you hope to see in the world.

To begin. I am at yet another battle with Tyler. He had improved remarkably with his "head bashing". I was so proud of my boy. Then recently he has now taken on bashing his chin. Yep. His chin. I have no idea where to go from here. I spent over two hours last night in his room with him. Laying on the floor next to him (while he in his crib). Rocking him. Cuddling him. Talking calmly to him. Crying with him. Unable to change the actions that he is doing. I found myself unable to manage my emotions. I found myself pouring my heart out to my son. Begging. Pleading him to just stop hurting himself. The emotions a Mother feels when they witness their own child hurting themselves, is a pain that no will understand, until they themselves witness...

Ryan and I came to the conclusion last night that we must obtain a referral to a Behavioral Specialist from his Doctor's office. We must seek the help that we need to help Tyler overcome whatever aggression he may be feeling. We must find a way to help him express his feelings in a less harmful manner. I will be calling today to hopefully be able to get some help with this situation. Please keep us in your prayers and thoughts, as we all need as much strength as we can get in this time. I will continue to post and update as things move along, and hopefully as Tyler progresses in a less harmful manner.

November, this month of the year everyone seems to reflect what they are thankful for. I had a conversation this morning with Trudi, and I found myself pondering different things I am thankful for. I had a very dear statement from Trudi of what she is thankful for...she has came to the conclusion that she is thankful for me, and my care for Aurora. That made my heart swell! I am so blessed to have Aurora and her parents in my life. I love that little girl, and I know my son loves her too. She brings a sense of light to some of our darker days, as well as a playful demeanor that she has about herself. I found myself enjoying another cup of coffee as Trudi left for her day at work, I pondered the different things in my life that I am thankful for. I seem to take a lot of things for granted on a daily basis. I noticed I am in need of some much needed, showing of appreciation to others around me. As for the month of November, I am thankful. Thankful to be here. Thankful to have a child that I love with my whole being. Thankful to have a roof over my head. Thankful to have a man that loves me and accepts me for me. Thankful that I have been blessed to be a stay at home Mom. Most importantly though...I AM THANKFUL!

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, as well as Aurora's birthday and my Aunt Susie's. Then before we know it, Christmas will be here, followed by a new year. I am looking forward to the holidays this year. I will finally have a little more money this year, than usual. Aside from that, I am looking to try some new recipes this year. I plan to bake quite a bit. New and old recipes. Just to have the sweet smell of a Christmas tree and sweets baking in the oven, and the little hands I will have helping me in the kitchen...I am looking forward to that time. Ryan and I discussed some goals that we have for this next year. We are planning to work on our debts, and hopefully eliminate some that we have. We will work one month on one's, followed by the next month on the other's. We may not be able to get everything cleared up, but we are in high hopes of at least some of our debts. With a new year ahead of us, goals we have made, and self goals that have not been spoken of, I look forward to. I see a light at the ever dark end of the tunnel. I see hope. I see promises. I see more to come. I can see again, where I once saw nothing. With many personal, unspoken of, goals I have within myself. Some I am in hopes of achieving by the end of this year, and some by the end of 2010. What I am looking forward to the most though, I must admit, is watching Tyler grow and develop even more. His ever changing self, each and every new day he does something new, and his looks are changing more into a little boy, than the baby he was not so long ago. Holidays ahead of us, new beginnings and new hopes as the new year approaches us..

Today looks as though it is going to be another beautiful calm day in our little corner of the world. The sun is out. I saw it rise this morning and ever so beautiful as usual. We have calm skies, and a calm brisk in the air, as we listen to the birds chirping in delight. I will end here today as I hear a baby stirring in the other room, as one awakes from a morning snoozer. Today's entry ends with new hope for tomorrow, and thankfulness for this day.